The idea for the store first originated one summer while I was life guarding. A friend of mine had recently had her wisdom teeth out, and her jaw was so sore it hurt to chew. I offered her my home-made peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because it would practically dissolve in her mouth. She felt bad that she was eating my lunch, but I told her not to worry, I could drive back to my house and make another one. She had given small bites of my sandwich to the other lifeguards, and pretty soon I was going to my house to make not only a sandwich for myself, but also for the other three lifeguards. My co-workers all agreed that they were the best peanut butter sandwiches they had ever eaten, and talk of my selling homemade peanut butter sandwiches started immediately.

We offer a full deliverable menu for the local businesses, and are brought door to door in brown bag sacks, just like lunches moms send to school with their children. For the more health conscious customers, a full line of organic products is available. A customer can come in for lunch, and leave with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, yogurt, chips and milk, all certified organic.

Twice monthly the bookstore holds a book club, one in the evening, and another at mid-morning for those members not available at night. The monthly selected book is offered at 30% off the regular price, and snacks are provided for all members during meetings. My mother, a veteran librarian and lover of books, selects the books and leads the discussions. She is also in charge of the entire bookstore, ordering the selection of books, and perfects our different literary sections (her favorite is the Mystery section, and spends most of her time updating that one).

A small section of the store is reserved for merchandise. The store only sells items that were made in the United States, but most of the things we sell are local products from New England. Local artists are invited to bring their art in to be displayed for sale in the store, and the variance of different pieces of art is amazing. One woman designs her own coffee mugs, which works out perfectly with the “Bring Your Own Mug, Save 20%” promotion I run. When the shop first opened, I ran a contest with the local citizens to take pictures of the town, and the best ten would be turned into postcards. The turnout was amazing, and I am the only store in town that offers postcards of local attractions from around the city. We also have a corner of the store with handmade journals, bookmarks, and note-cards.

At night, the bookstore and café turn into the perfect date-night hangout. We offer twice as many desserts and pastries than we do during the day, and our espresso machine is in full force. Friday and Saturday nights we have local artists play acoustic music on the stage in the back corner of the shop. All the tables are dressed up with candles, and the lights are dimmed low for a calmer ambiance.

I stand in my kitchen at home, making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the ten thousandth time. I have a certain routine for making them, and I even cut them in a certain way. I got the idea for PB & Everything last summer while lifeguarding, but so far, it’s only a very detailed idea.

I’ve been reading a lot of money blogs lately - most recently, is Her Two Cents.    There are lots of changes coming up in my life, and a lot of it has to do with money.

My internship finished on April 23.  I had my class seminar class last night, and I graduate May 20 with my Master of Science in Counseling degree.  A couple days later, I leave for England.  I return June 9th, and my new job starts June 14th.

I’m starting a job at Community Healthlink, where I will be a clinician in the Families and Communities Together program, working with kids aged 4-22.  It’s a wraparound program where members of the child’s community gets involved to help out the child.  They provide help, and also let the child know that there are many people who care about him/her.   I am very excited about it, and will let you know more when *I* know more.

Barny is hopefully moving here in late June/July.  His application for his Fiancé Visa is in the last stage - the US Embassy in London has it, and needs to call him for an interview.

With him moving over here, and me starting a new job, and us needing a place to live - money has been on my mind a lot lately.  I’m currently working at Macy’s three days a week, and this week and next week I’m babysitting every afternoon.  I just feel overwhelmed with everything that is coming up, and hope that I can handle it.

I am just now entering my third week at the Hospice House.  So far, I really like it.  Although I am working with patients who are dying, and about ten of my patients have already died, I do enjoy it.

This is the house.

This is the area where the nurses and social workers do their paper work and congregate.

The desk on the left is the receptionist desk.  Every visitor needs to sign in and out.  Notice all the pretty flowers and plants?  We get them donated by a local funeral home.

In the kitchen, there’s a side for the kitchen staff, and a side of everyone else.  There is free coffee and tea for everyone, and they are constantly making treats.  So far I’ve had brownies, oatmeal apricot cookies, M&M cookies, banana bread, and lasagna.  I’ve been told by nurses that I will gain five pounds.

The dining area outside of the kitchen.  Both patients, their families and staff eats here.

There are a lot of plants and sun throughout the whole house.

This is the praying room.  It’s not really called that, but it looks like it should be.  There is stained glass, a nice fountain, and NO crosses.  That way, no one is made uncomfortable.

This is the living room.  Sorry it’s blurry.  There’s a gas fireplace that is on during the winter.

We have a piano and guitar for anyone to use. Off of the living room, there’s a patio.  There’s a gas grille that patients can use to have cookouts.

Each patient also has their own private patio off of their room.

Inside their room, there is the patient’s bed (lower left), and a pull out couch for loved ones to stay the night. They also have a private bathroom, and a small fridge for food.  Families are encouraged to spend as much time at the house as they’d like.

It is a very wonderful place.  I would love to work there because I would never hate going into work.  It feels like a second home.  Not only because it looks like a home, but because everyone who works there is very nice, and they say I fit in beautifully.

Plus, there are fresh baked cookies EVERY DAY!

As I’m nearing my adult years (aren’t I there yet??  I’m 25!), and getting on with my internship, I’m starting to think of my post-school life.  I will finally be able to have a full time job (the hospice people have mentioned several times about hiring me!!!!), and able to have money to move out.  I’m not sure I’d want to rent, especially if I can get a condo pretty cheap.

I’ve already found a condo that I’ve fallen in love with. 

It’s only $124,000 and with taxes and such, that’s about $800 for a two bedroom.  Let’s say I find a job I love, get married, and stay put.  I could stay in the condo even if I have a little baby since there are two bedrooms.  Even if I don’t have a baby, it’d still be a house I could stay in for several years.  And what are the chances that the house will be worth less than $124k in 5 years?  I know that condo fees suck, but I think my friend Brianne (who lives in the condo complex) said that there’s a recreational facility with a pool and such!

I’m taking this article from this blog I’ve stumbled upon, Quarter Life Finances.  Sounds like I should browse it a bit more, cause it’s right up my alley!  The part that makes sense to me the most is the fact that I couldn’t get a nice looking house in a good area for $124,000 - even IN Fitchburg.  Plus, this condo is in a great location - near the highway and close enough to grocery stores and downtown!  Plus, it’s a stones throw away from Coggshall Park, and my dentist’s office!

Reasons to move into a condo (or NOT a house):

1. Right now, they’re cheaper

2. I don’t have to worry about a lawn

3. I don’t have to worry about exterior repairs (generally) since most of those are taken care of under the HOA

4. The illusion of more safety (they’re usually in gated communities, more neighbors and less isolated)

5. No worrying about neighbors making the neighborhood look trashy….HOA won’t allow it! (Not that I’d worry too much about that)

Reasons to move into a house (or NOT a condo):

1. No HOA fees (they’ll never go down, only up)…I can apply that money to build equity

2. I can do whatever I want to the exterior of my house (if I want a hot pink house, I can have it!)

3. No assigned parking, I can park on my grass if I want!

4. No paper-thin walls (or loud neighbors, hopefully)

5. No HOA politics

This is obviously not an extensive list. For me, what it comes down to is availability. Like I said, I’m not completely against buying a house, but what is happening is that the only houses that are currently under $200,000 are either 1) tiny (and old), 2) in less desireable neighborhoods, and 3) Cash only offers since many of them either have illegal additions and would never pass a bank inspection, or for other reasons I can’t figure out. The BF would also point out the fact that all the houses I’m able to afford are in “old people neighborhoods”. But I don’t necessarily consider that a bad thing, lol. (Although I admit, I can’t afford any houses in the “hip” neighborhoods.)

As a single girl I am NOT going to move into an unsafe neighborhood for the sake of having a bigger house. Nor am I going to move out into the middle of the swamp in order to have a bigger house. I get so frustrated because this same thing comes up EVERY time my home search comes up. Maybe I’m being short-sighted, not thinking of the future, etc?

It also seems to me that as a first-time homebuyer…its kind of easier to ease into getting a condo since there are slightly less responsibilities. (Or is this a misperception of mine?) I wouldn’t have to worry about a lawn, painting my house when it starts to look dingy (or I can blame stuff on the HOA to cover up my laziness, lol), the main complex I’m looking at has a pool I can use without dealing with upkeep, as well as tennis courts. It just seems that much more convenient. However, they are right….I am giving up $300 of equity each month to enjoy these little perks.

Here’s a quote from the movie Meet Bill:

Working Sucks!

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a bank, a department store or a doughnut factory,

because once you’ve been there long enough, the only thing you’ll care about
is when your next pay increase is, how many vacation days you’ve accrued,
and if your health insurance is gonna pay for the cholesterol medicine
that keeps your heart pumping no matter how much shit you work through it.
Then, after you’ve gained 20 or 30 pounds because you’re so fucking uptight all the time,
you wake up and discover that you’re working for your father-in-law
in a position with a gratuitous title, and you’re totally replaceable.
And not only is the new guy better at your job,
but he’s got a better car and better jokes and better hair!
So no matter what you do,
you make sure you make a lot of money doing it,
because it all sucks!

This is what I’m saying:  Mini house, bartering for things, growing my own food.  That’s life.

I have just been very busy… and right now, I am too tired to write a lot.

The Brew Fest is a week from tomorrow.  We have a LOT of things to do still, and next week will be a very busy week.  That’s a good thing - but the weather has been very dreary, and I want the sun to come out so I can walk downtown (the Fest is downtown, as well as where everyone works).  I would much rather walk downtown than drive, because it’s only a bit over a mile.  Want tickets?  They can be bought online at www.beersforgood.com  Get them early - cause the price goes up at the gate!

I leave for England in 3ish weeks?  I’m very excited.  I need to start making a list of things I want to do.  Bike and jog around town is top of the list!  I just need a map of Southampton with Megan’s house circled, and I’ll be fine!  As long as I can get back to their house, I’ll be all set.  Two times ago that I was there, I got lost in town, Megan didn’t answer her phone, I got on the wrong bus, and I sat in town and cried.  That will NOT happen again.

I had an interview at a hospice house yesterday, and I GOT THE INTERNSHIP!  It’s up in Merrimack, NH.  That’s good for several reasons:  a) it’s only 45 minutes away, and mostly back roads.  Not bad.  b)  New Hampshire has no sales tax, so if I need anything big (computer, camera, iPhone), I can buy it in NH.  c)  I pass by this super cheap liquor store, so I can stop for stuff for Jason or my dad three times a week and d), my friend Eric lives in the Merrimack/Nashua area, so if there is a bad storm, then I can probably just stay at his house and not have to drive home.  I should keep a change of regular/work clothes in my car (and an iron!).

The internship is 600 hours, and I will be there Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays starting September 1, and go until March-ish.  I’m very excited. I think I am going to need more clothes.  Heh.

Tonight I am going to maria’s house in Danvers (about an hour away) - and we are doing dinner, and then I’m sleeping over.  Hopefully we’ll have a lot of fun.  Not sure what we’ll do - even if we just play games, watch a movie, and eat, I’ll be happy.

Off to pack for Maria’s!

After the low iodine diet, I weigh exactly the same.  Didn’t lose or gain anything.  I think that’s a good thing because I was eating a crap load of carbs.  I was actually afraid I was going to gain weight!

Cancer stuff is all over and done with until next year.  I still have to take a pill every freaking morning, but nothing else until a year from now.  Jason asked how I felt, and if I was very very excited and happy about the results.  I told him “no.”  He didn’t understand how that was possible, so I told him, “Well, nothing has changed.  I feel exactly the same way I felt a week ago.  If things had come back differently then I’d feel differently, but nothing has changed.  So I feel the same.”  Nothing has changed except I know that for right now, there aren’t any thyroid cells lingering.  But I still have to take a pill every day, and I still have to monitor my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone and my Thyroglobulin levels, and there’s still a 30% chance that the cancer will come back.  So really, what’s there to be all excited and happy about?  I’m just glad the testing and diet is over.   As Dr. Ross said on my way out, “I’ll see you next year.”

I’m thinking about running for a councilor at large for my city’s City Coucil.  I’m debating whether or not it’s worth it.  It pays about $9,000, but even if it was for free, I’d still be interested.  I’m just not sure what exactly I’d be signing myself up to do.  I need to get other’s opinions on how hard/time consuming it is.  Right now, I volunteer a LOT of my time for Fitchburg, and it would be nice to get paid and recognized for all of my hard work.  But, would I have to get rid of my blog?  Would reporters or someone read my blog and report negative things about me?  Would I really care?   It seems that City Council only meets twice a month, but I’m sure there is a lot of hidden time in there.

I haven’t been running as much as I used to.  I wish that I ran more, but I just don’t have the motivation.  I’m planning on going out in a bit, but I just feel so lazy, and that I don’t want to use the energy.  But, whatever. i’m planning on getting a lot of exercise in when I visit Megan.  But walking and biking everywhere, and making her go out on runs with me.  It’d be fun if they had a dog that I could walk every morning and evening, but they don’t.  Perhaps they have a friend’s dog that I can walk?

Speaking of Megan, my time to visit her and Mac in England for a MONTH is coming up soon!  I’ll be there in just about 4 weeks.  I am very excited!  I have no idea what I’m going to do over there, but I know whatever it is will be a lot of fun.  I know Megan will teach me a lot about cooking and eating ethically and all that, and that’s nice.

I planned a graduation party for my brother for this Saturday.  Of course, he doesn’t want to do it, but I said “Dylan, when you graduate, people send you money.  BUT, you need to have a party so that the people know  you graduated, and then they’ll come to your party, and they will BRING YOU MONEY.”   He doesn’t really seem to care, but my family enjoys a good cookout, and I know that Dylan deserves graduation presents (money or not - even job advice would be wonderful).  That’ll be a fun night.

I went out and had an interview with a hospice in Boston.  I am suppose to hear back to see if I was one of the chosen interns (I think they’re choosing 5).  I am very excited, and I REALLY want to do this internship.  I just want them to freaking call me already!!

I will always remember Robin for being the upbeat, spirited woman that she was. She would always make jokes, even when things seemed really bad. Even when she learned that her thyroid cancer had come back 70 years after first being diagnosed, she laughed a bit, and said “well, soon I can stop taking these stupid pills everyday.” She was always trying to look at the bright side of things.

Robin was a loving wife for over 60 years, and a mother to two wonderful children, Lillian and Zach. They are all grown up now, with kids and grandkids of their own. She loved being with her family, and cherished every moment with them. She was the fun grandma who would take the kids to the movies, to the amusement parks, and would buy them special little present every time she saw them. She was still active into her 90s, and took daily walks in the park. She even did weight training!

Robin spent her professional life as a therapist, helping others with cancer. She first started working with kids at Children’s Hospital in Boston, and she was there for many years. She would cry with the kids, but also make jokes to make them laugh. She would even keep pictures in her office of when she was in the hospital and looked her worse. It made the kids smile that she didn’t even have her hair brushed. She would show them her scar to help them feel better, and she didn’t mind when kids poked at it.

As you all know, Robin was married to John in 2011, and they lived together in Boston. He worked at Mass General Hospital as a surgeon, so they were both busy with their respective hospitals. Robin got pregnant with Lillian when she was 30, and they moved to a suburb and bought their first house. Of course, the house was completely decorated by the time Lillian arrived, with every room painted a different color, and all of the furniture and accessories matched perfectly. Robin was definitely into planning, organizing, and making things match. She was always making to do lists. And she sure loved her Post-It notes!

After the kids were grown, Robin and John moved out to Santa Fe, New Mexico where she started her own practice. She worked with a variety of clients, but she stayed with her specialty of working with those who had recently been diagnosed with a terminal illness. In Santa Fe, Robin had a friend who owned a flower shop, and Robin would occasionally work there on the weekends so she could get a chance to work with all the flowers. For those of you who went to Santa Fe to visit, you know that everything there is pretty much different shades of brown. For Robin, working in the Flower Market was the little chance she got to spend time with a little color. She loved putting arrangements together, and was constantly bringing home flowers. She would joke that since she always brought them home, John never had to. And he certainly liked that idea.

Robin was an avid reader, and loved the children’s classic series, Harry Potter, as Lillian knows all too well. I’m sorry Lillian, but for those who don’t know, Lillian’s middle name is Hermione, and Lillian was actually the name of Harry’s mother. She was VERY into the series, maybe even a bit too much. But she loved it, and didn’t care that her friends, and husband, made fun of her. When her children were old enough, she would read the books to them. Robin also enjoyed reading her girlie books. You know, the ones where young girls go out and date many cute boys, and own lots of shoes. She said they made her feel young again.

Robin sure could be a firecracker. She was always standing up for people’s rights, and if they wouldn’t stand up for themselves, she stood up like lightning to stand up for them. She had a big mouth on her in that way, but it was something we all loved. She also threatened to use her mouth to yell more often than she actually used it. She did, however, constantly use her mouth for smiling. She was always smiling, and was the only person I knew who could keep a smile plastered on her face for so long. I swear, she could have had a portrait done of her, and she wouldn’t have lost that smile. She would just sit there, with the same smile on her face, her cheeks not getting tired at all. It wasn’t a fake smile, because it was the same smile she had all the time. But she could just “turn it on.” It was a pretty amazing sight.

That was one of the things about her thyroid problems that really bothered her. She was so used to smiling all the time, it really struck her down when her thyroid would act up, and it seemed to wipe away her happiness. She once told me that instead of walking into a room, and having it light up, that she felt like walking into a room and turning the lights off. That was the worst I had ever seen her, when she just was plain unhappy, with no motivation to make herself better. Luckily, that didn’t last for very long, and Robin celebrated her happiness. It was the summer after her first cancer treatment when she met John. She described him to me as the one person who really understood her, and what she needed. When she needed to watch TV and be quiet, he would sit on the couch with her and rub her feet. And you all know how much she loved getting her feet rubbed. He was patient with her when she read Harry Potter for the 20^th time, and took good care of her when she was getting her yearly thyroid body scans. When they got their first apartment, he gave her two kittens as a house warming present, and even promised to clean their litter box every day. That lasted a week. But oh, how she loved him. When he died two years ago, Robin was devastated. She knew however, that she would see him again. And right now, I know that they are both sitting on a couch, and he is rubbing her feet.

I woke up this morning and saw that I had received a text from Niles in the middle of the night (1am!). It didn’t wake me up, but it said “Plan to go to Hooligans after Lost, it’s open mic night.” That was very clever of Niles, because he knows that I don’t like doing things at the spur of the moment…. I always back out and say “I’m tired…” or something. But now that he warned me ahead of time, I’m obligated to go. It’s also funny that he didn’t ask me to go to Hooligans, he just told me that we were going. Clever, clever Niles.

I babysat for many hours today. It was slightly warm, so the two boys were playing outside. I grabbed the little baby, bundled her up, put her in a stroller, and joined them outside. I only lasted about 10 minutes because it was so cold!

While I was babysitting, I finished a book! I think that I had read over 200 pages today! It was a book about a woman journaling her first year as a mother. She was a writer already, and someone suggested that everyday, she write down something that she noticed about her son. I really enjoyed this book, because I love reading journals and blogs. She was a single mother, but luckily, she had family and wonderful best friends who stopped by and helped her.

As of this moment, this book convinced me that I do not want children. She talked about all the pain she was in after child birth, how her stomach was still so large (even though she lost 20 of the 25 pounds she had gained) that it just laid next to her in bed. The baby was also very colicky at first, and she stated how she understood how people could abuse their children. She went from loving him one day, to absolutely hating him the next. However, she never regretted having him, which is good. She barely got to sleep every night, and it just sounded so awful. She had people who came over to visit with the baby, but not once did she talk about how someone took the baby so she could sleep. I think if it was me, and the baby didn’t need food, need to be changed, or anything like that, and it was just crying to be a pain in the ass, I would put it in the furthest room, and I would sleep in the room on the complete other side of the room. I would say “You can cry all you want baby, but I can’t hear you! Nah nah!” I mean, really, I don’t think the kid would be in any danger, right? It would just be super annoying!

I don’t think that I want to have kids, because it sounds awful. Plus, her one friend said it wasn’t even easier with a husband, because he would complain about dinner, and not getting to have sex, and other stuff. In fact, she said, I think it is worse. I would, however, go over to my best friend’s house all the time to hang out with her, and sit on the couch while she nursed and watched TV. But I would also, most definitely, take the baby away so my friend could nap. I would take the baby to a park, or even take him home with me for the night. Whatever my friend wanted. I would let my friend take a bath or shower, and then relax in bed. And I would keep the screaming child as far away as the mom wanted me too.

I just want cats. Cats can be annoying too, but cats can be locked in the basement.

I’m at my little childrens’ house, babysitting. Dylan, the 4 year old and I are watching Tom and Jerry. The house wife is wearing slippers and an apron and it made me think of my mini house. Also the fact that Tom is a cat made me think of my kittens.

As I sit here thinking, I’m thinking about the design. I’m no good at drawing, and would love something 3D, but haven’t found a computer program for that. And so, suddenly I realized I could make a diorama! I’m going to make a mini house with a shoe box and card board. I will design everything! Kitchen, where the bed and table will go, where my porch will be, and the little steps I’m going to make for my cats to get up to the loft, because they won’t be able to use a ladder, but they are good jumpers. Also, they will like perches for looking outside.

This is very exciting, and I like crafts! It will give me something to do, and it’ll be good for me to design what I want.
I’m think I will do one inch = one foot, but two inches might be more realistic. Then I won’t have to work with such small spaces. But it should be to scale so I can see where everything will fit.
I’m also only going to use things from the house, I won’t go out and buy any dilly craft things. We have glue, cardboard, and lots of boxes. I’m sure Megan has craft stuff in her room, and I have all my scrapbooking things I abandoned years ago (this blog is my new scrapbook. It’s cheaper, and doesn’t waste paper!)

I will take pictures throughout the process. I’m sure my mom will love me setting up a craft table in the living room! Ha!