Holy crap, look at this mini house I saw in FITCHBURG! We were driving to Coggshall park to do some ice storm debris clean up, and we randomly drove through a neighborhood. My dad was driving and my mom and I both saw it and made him back up. I got out and went down the driveway to take a picture. I love that it is so old fashioned looking and the door and the chimney! I want it!
Unforunately there isn’t much land, and there are two houses right next door. I just need to find a house like this somewhere with lots of land and no neighbors.

If I am eating pretty much only things that I grow, and don’t want money, or to have to go to the grocery store…. what will my cats eat?  This is a problem that I’ve thought about only for the past few days.  It had never occurred to me before.

Walking home from the gym today, I was thinking about the fact that I will have chickens for my eggs.  I’m thinking I’d want between 6-8 chickens.  I had done some research about making my own cat food, but they requires weird things, and protein powder and stuff.

Beth from Fake Plastic Fish wrote this as enough food for one cat for one day:

4 ounces of cooked white chicken meat
1/4 cup of cooked mashed sweet potato
1-1/2 teaspoons of butter
1 red scoop of Balance It supplement

Then there are more recipes on the No Cans site.  Lots of different recipes, which is useful.

Here is one with fish:

1/3 cup white rice

1 tbl margarine or low-fat spread

3oz canned tuna or smoked mackerel, skinned and boned

1/2 hard-boiled egg, shelled and finely chopped

yolk of 1 egg

1/2 tbl pouring cream

Uh, so I guess I also need a cow to get butter and cream.  And milk for my Honey Bunches of Oats! And also whatever animal rice comes from.

But, all these foods require meat.  And I was thinking “Oh, hmm.  I didn’t really plan on eating meat.”  But then I thought, “oh, I have chickens that lay eggs.  Are those the same kind of chickens that I eat?”  And then I thought about it, and pictures the hens clucking around the farm and laying eggs, and then I pictured food that has chicken meat in it.  I swear to god I had to think about live chickens and then compare it to chicken meat in my pasta.  Really.  I had to think about that.

So anyway, after I figured it out that I would already have chickens for my eggs, I realized that I could just use meat from one of them for my cat food!  But if my cats each need 4oz a day, that’s a lot of meat.  I don’t know how much chickens weigh, so I don’t know how many chickens I’d have to kill to feed my cats.  I would like to get some recipes that do not require meat, but so far all I’ve found are meatless cat “treats.”  And cats can’t live on treats!  (Patrice, do you have any vegetarian recipes for cats??)  They must be able to live without meat.  If humans can, cats can, too.

So now I’ve realized that I can’t feed my cats, and I can’t eat my cereal with milk.  I’m going to have to go to the store.  So I can’t really live off the grid.  I’m going to have to work, to get money for the grocery store.  That sucks.  But I guess it doesn’t really suck…. because it’s good to work.  I just better enjoy my job.  But I guess, even if I DO need money… I can make it in anyway that I want.  I can sell my eggs and some of my produce.  If I have a private practice then I can choose what clients I see, and I can choose my own hours.  That sounds like it would be the best of both worlds.  In my mini house, I could have a small room that would be my office.  It could also turn into a guest bedroom very easily for any guests I may have.  I think that sounds awesome!  That would be my absolute ideal life.

Here’s a break down:

• Have a lot of space to grow my own fruits and vegetables.
• Have chickens for lots of eggs and occasional meat
• Live somewhere warmish where I can grow lots of my own stuff
• Know someone who has cows that I can get organic milk products from.  Either payment/bartering
• Have a small guest room/office to see my patients and have guests stay over (but still living in a very small space)
• Have cats that can magically eat the same food that I can.  Do cats like Honey Bunches of Oats and egg whites?  What about soup?  Stupid cats!  Be more human!  But smaller…. like…. a baby.  Oh wait, I’ve already written about that.
• Have my own private practice in my own home, where I will see about 10 patients a week.  It could be spread to 3 days with 3-4 patients a day.  I could also be very flexible and see people on the weekends because I can do whatever I want, it’s my practice!  People like flexibility.  I will also do house calls for the agoraphobics.
• I will own a car, but it will be a little crappy old car that simply gets me from point A to point B.  My main way of traveling will be my feet, and my awesome bicycle with a basket.
• Do something that allows me to have enough money to pay for my house, my electricity bill (I hear it’s under $100 a year for a mini house), my Internet (cause I need the Internet), and money to buy enough clothes so I don’t look like a ragamuffin (where on earth did I learn that word?)
• I will spend the majority of my time gardening, cooking, eating, exercising, reading, writing, and doing various crafts.

Tomorrow I will post about tonight’s dinner (boring old Lasagna), but I was proud of it.  Jeanne came over and we watched Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.  We both said, “I didn’t not like it, but I wouldn’t really want to see it again.”  We also drank red wine (to help in our futile attempt to fight cancer).  It was nice to see her.  We should hang out again and cook sometime.  Now it’s bedtime.  I’m babysitting in the morning, and my dad is waking me up at 6:30 to run as long as the roads are cleared.  It snowed again, and I’m thinking it’s too cold for the roads to be clear. Until tomorrow, live long and prosper.

I walked to the gym today only discovered that it was closed.  So I walked all the way home.  1.3 miles total.  So then I put on my old sneakers, got my iPod shuffle, tied my hood on, and put socks on my hands to act as mittens, and I went for a 2 mile run outside.  I hadn’t been for a run outside since early January when my gym was closed for the holidays.  It was a mix between hot and cold.  I didn’t like it.  But I asked my dad if he wanted to go with me tomorrow morning, cause the gym is only open 12-5, and I’m at work.  So I will run before breakfast…. if I feel like it.  I haven’t had a day off in all of February.  I’m okay with not running tomorrow.

I have decided that starting on Sunday, I am going to go to bed at 10 (where I can read), turn the light off my 10:30, and wake up at 6:30 or 7.  Every day for one week.  The only day that will be a problem is Wednesday, because Lost doesn’t end until 10!  Usually we stay and hang out until 11ish.  So that night will be a little later, and I will postpone my waking up as well, but no later than 8.

I started to a new craft this afternoon!  It’s exciting, and I’m pinning it while I’m watching grey’s anatomy and sitting at my craft table (which I set up in my living room!).  Unfortunately, I am working at Macy’s tonight.  That means I don’t get to cook a good dinner (I don’t even know what I’m going to have - I’m too full from lunch), and I don’t get to keep working on my craft.  Then, I have to work all day tomorrow from 10:30 - 7:30.  Stupid Macy’s.  Stupid need for money.  This is why I don’t want to have a need for money.  Money and working to make money is stupid.

I think it would also be nice to not have to live with time.  In my mini house, if I was growing organic vegetables, and living without needing to work, then I wouldn’t ever need to know what time it was.  Wouldn’t that be interesting?  Especially in a society like ours, time is so valued.  Everything is done by time.  What would it be like if it simply didn’t matter what time it was?  You got things done when they got done.  If I were still to be a therapist, then I would have set days, Monday, Wednesday and Friday, that my patients could simply drop by as long as it was light out.  I wouldn’t have so many patients that more than one would come at once, so I bet it could work.  Well, maybe not.  For appointments and stuff I’d need time.  Maybe I could set alarms!  I wouldn’t need to know the time, just that “in one hour, you need to do this.”  Hmm.  It would probably need to be thought through a little more, but it’s an interesting idea.

I did not log on to my computer ONCE yesterday! Amazing. I didn’t use it to check my email, read my RSS feed, or update my blog. I can do all of those from my phone, and I did use my phone for e-mail and my blog update on the diorama.

Why didn’t I use my computer at all? I had a super busy day! I woke up early, read my book, went to the gym at 9:30 (read my book all the way there and back!), came home, showered, left at 11:30 to baby sit. I babysat until 3ish, then I went to the Salvation Army where I got two white plates for food photography, a small one for desserts, and a large one for dinner. I also got a skirt that I’m going to make into a bag! They were having “Wacky Wednesday Family Day” where everything was 50% off, so I paid only $4.54 for all three items. Then, I went to the grocery store and bought stuff to make dip for Niles’ house. Then, I went home, made the dip, changed my clothes, and walked to the library (at 6pm). I read my book about 80% of the way, using the street lights. I had to tilt my book a certain way to get the best lighting, but it worked!

Once at the library, I read my book while waiting for my mom to get out of work, and then we went to Il Forno where we had dinner. I got Linguine and Broccoli Aglie Olie, and I asked for extra broccoli. You couldn’t even see the pasta because there was so much broccoli! But, after I ate most of it, there wasn’t enough broccoli. For left overs tonight, I’m going to make more broccoli to add to the pasta.  Broccoli galore!!!  (Bob wanted to take a picture of me and dad with our plates of broccoli.  I asked for extra, dad did not.)  Oh man, do I LOVE broccoli!!!

After dinner, I raced home, grabbed the dip from the fridge, and raced to Niles’ house. He called me twice and sent me a text wondering where I was! I got there JUST at 9pm, just as it was starting. Whew! I didn’t miss anything. Everyone loved the dip, and I made my parents a mini version in a ramekin so they could try it. After Lost, Niles helped me design my house a bit after I told him about my diorama idea. I think I want to invite him over to help me do it. We could watch a movie or something!

I came home at 11, and went to bed reading my book! I didn’t even touch my computer all day!

And I’ve just measured, and my living room (which I think is the perfect size for my mini house) is 12.5 feet by 18 feet. That’s 225 square feet. I’m off to look for a box that’s a similar size! I don’t have much time for construction today because I’m off to the gym before lunch, then I’m meeting a friend for lunch at noon (we’re going to the City Hall Cafe, and then walking up to the Rabbit Hole Book Store), and then I have to babysit again tonight at 6pm. It’s the mom’s birthday, so they’re going out to dinner! I’m going to have three crazy kids tonight, and have to put them to bed! Ohhhhh jeez.

I pass by this on my way home from the gym. I’m looking for something bigger, but I like the roof this has.

The chili came out really good!  I started it kind of late - around 2.  It simmered on the stove for three hours!  But it was good, and everyone really liked it.  Trevor said it was very good for my first chili, but he would recommend adding in celery when I am sauteing the onions.  I thought it was a good suggestion - it will add it something fresh, and a nice crunch.  There’s a lot left over, so when we got home, I packaged some up in tupperware for my dad and Larry for lunch tomorrow.  I guess it will freeze nicely, and we can use it for a nachos topping, or as a filling for burritos.

We were at Liz’s house watching the game (Liz is a member of Beers For Good, and helped organize Brew Year’s Eve).  She somehow got on to the topic of energy, and solar power, and she mentioned that she had a solar powered water heater!  It’s been in the house for a long time, and still works.  We all went into the room and saw how it hooked up.  It was pretty neat, and I told Trevor that I would want one of those in my mini house.  We started talking with Liz about my mini house, and I pulled up the plans that I liked from the Tumbleweed Tiny House Company.  The three of us looked at the plans, and found that it actually lists specifics about the width and height, and how large each room is and everything.  Liz got out her tape measurer, and we decided to see just how big my mini house would be.

We were able to measure it out perfectly in her house so we could all visualize where the house would be.  Liz pulled out 18 feet (the length of the house) and stood down at a weird end, (where there is a piano and a wall in the way), so I had her move down to the other end so we could get an area that was open.  She had a wood stove in her basement (we were in the basement which is finished), which was the exact point of our measuring.  The 18 feet went out to the end of the stove, and then it cut across to the wall perfectly the other 13 feet (or so).  It was big enough for a full sized couch, and I was able to see what it would look like to cut into the room with the bathroom and kitchen.  We were also talking about what it would look like if the loft didn’t extend the whole floor, but was cut open, so you could see up into the loft.

Kind of like this, but on a smaller scale:

I would also want the one wall (right near where that hanging light is), to be a lot of windows, especially up top, to get some light into the upstairs loft.  I could also do a skylight over that open area.  Then, it could look down over the living room area.  Also, with a banister like the one in the picture, it could be removeable, so that I could hoist furniture upstairs.  We started talking about the loft because I was asking how I would get a bed and desk upstairs.  Trevor said that I would have to build the house with the furniture already up there.  I mentioned that I wouldn’t even need a bed (he was talking about me having a big bed that I’d have to put together, with a head board and everything), and I said I would just get a mattress and boxspring and set it on the floor.  He didn’t like that idea, and said “Yeah, or you could just live in a trailer.”  He thinks that not having a bed makes it even more white trash-ish, I guess.

We all decided that once it gets nicer out, we’ll go out in our side yard and measure out exactly the size of the plans I’m looking at.  Then we will get a real feel for what will fit where (will a double bed really fit where they have it pictured?).  Liz also said I should take a look at her shed, because it’s about the size I’m looking at.

Or, I could just buy this house from Home Depot for $10,000.  It’s 240 sq ft, but probably no loft.

I ordered a Diva Cup through our local organic foods store.  It ended up costing me $31.  On Amazon.com they’re only $17.50, but I figured with shipping, it’d be close to $25, and for the extra $6, it’s best for me to support a local business.  I’m excited to try it out, and hope it goes well.  I’ve heard lots of good things about them, especially on all the green chic blogs I’ve been reading lately.

First thing I saw this morning was that the stone house where Megan had her wedding reception this summer burned down!!!  It’s the stone house in this beautiful park in southern Fitchburg.  The park was devastated after the ice storm, and it has been locked up ever since.  When the fire officials got there, the fire had already been burning for several hours, and it was at the point where it had burned up all the wood, and there was nothing left but the stone.  I took a picture of the paper and e-mailed it to Megan because I thought that she’d want to know.  Her reply:  “That SUCKS!!!”

Here’s what the house used to look like.  It was very beautiful, and very unique.

I had to babysit today, and we had a winter storm all day.  Luckily, my car is pretty good in the snow, and I had no problems as long as I went super slow.  On my way home, I drove by my doctor’s office, and remembered I had an appointment scheduled for tomorrow at 2:45.  I decided that I’d stop by today and see if they had any cancellations.  I had a book with me, and I was okay with hanging out for a bit and waiting.  The lady checked me in, and I was seen within 5 minutes!  I didn’t get a chance to read hardly any of my book!!  The nurse practitioner I had the appointment with (tomorrow)  was in between appointments, and luckily I just had to chat with her for a bit.  It was perfect timing, and now I don’t have to trek out into Leominster tomorrow.  It was a great idea on my part, and another way that I cut down on driving.

When I came home from the doctors, there was about 6 or 7 inches of snow in the driveway.  I went inside, changed my clothes, ate an orange for fuel, and went out to face the snow.  It took me a couple tries, but I finally figured out how to start the snow blower.  I finished the driveway, and did all of our sidewalks and the paths to both our doors.  It took me exactly 50 minutes.  It was a good workout, but the snow had turned into freezing rain, and then regular rain, so I got a bit wet in the process.  My parents walked in the door about 10 minutes after I had finished, and as they opened the door, I heard my mom say “Do you think Robin did it?”  They didn’t know who had done the drive way!  Our neighbor had done it previously, and they weren’t sure if he was at it again!  But she walked inside and she asked if I had done it, and I told them yes. Not only had my mom gotten to leave work early (at 5pm, instead of 7pm), but both of my parents were able to come home and not have to go right back out to shovel.  It was nice that I was able to help them.  They were extremely thankful.  They even asked what they could make me for dinner!  I must admit, there was a moment when I was outside shoveling where I thought “screw making dinner, let’s get take out.”  But that thought didn’t last long.

At 6, I started to make dinner.  Last night, I made shrimp scampi for my dad and me, and mom ate it sans shrimp.  It was very good, and my mom loved the recipe.  Tonight, I made pasta e fagioli.  It was a very easy recipe, and maybe only took 15 minutes of prep.  The rest was just waiting for it to cook!  Both of my parents really liked it, but next time, I want to double the beans (two cans instead of one), and add less pasta.  But it was really good, and it was a recipe I had never made before!  My mom said this one was a keeper, as well.   (It thickened in the fridge a bit, that’s why it doesn’t look very soupy in the picture).

At 7:50, I left the house for Niles’.  Every Wednesday a bunch of us go over to his house to watch LOST.  It’s great fun.  Tonight, because the weather was so crappy, and because I had already done my fair share of driving, and not enough walking, I decided to walk.  It wasn’t too far of a walk, perhaps a mile.  But I made sure that I bundled up, and I brought an extra pair of pants and slippers just in case.  The slippers came in handy because my socks got wet and I put them on his radiator to dry (they didn’t).

My feet got VERY wet on the way home (I need wellies, not stupid snow boots that aren’t water proof). While walking home, there were 5 people in front of me, and each person had a dog.  I thought it was very strange.  But then I thought “Hmm… I wonder if they have some dog walking club.”  And then I thought that was a very neat idea.  Get a bunch of neighbors together who have dogs, and walk them together.  That’d be a nice way to spend time together, plus give your dog a walk and get a little exercise.  If I liked dogs (which I do not), then that’d be a cool idea.  I like the same idea with little babies and mom with strollers.

I really liked walking to Niles’ house.  I have been trying to drive less, and walk more, especially if it’s somewhere close by (mostly the gym, I haven’t treked to the grocery store yet this winter, but when it was warm out, I did a couple times).  But walking to Niles’ house tonight made me feel very British.  I like how they walk everywhere.  Even if it’s crappy out, or raining, they have to walk, because they (at least Mac and Megan) don’t own cars!  Your choice is to either stay home, or walk in the rain.  I have also decided that in my little house, I don’t want to ever have paper towels, a TV, or a microwave.  I can get by pretty well without a microwave.  While babysitting, I was thinking “Wow, I don’t remember the last time that I needed to use a microwave.  Except…. 5 minutes ago when I made this cup of tea.”  But I could easily make a cup of tea with an electric kettle or on the stove.  But other than today’s rare cup of tea (which I want to drink more of, and I bought I Love Lemon herb tea today!), I never use the microwave.  It’s pretty great.

I thought of a problem with my mini house idea.

Health Insurance.

I absolutely need health insurance, not just because I have a tendency to get sick…. but because I require a prescription to Synthroid for the rest of my life.  Without insurance, it’s about $40 dollars a month.  With insurance, I pay $22 (cause it’s a name brand - and has to be Synthroid cause of the cancer).  Plus, I’m also prone to tumors (thyroid and one in my left breast that was removed in 2004).  And I have GERD, which I have heard can cause esophegeal cancer.  Plus, I was a lifeguard in the hot sun for 40 hours a week for 7 summers, which isn’t good for skin cancer.  So…..  That could be a problem.

I know that in Massachusetts (where it is ILLEGAL to be without health insurance), they have Mass Health that anyone can get (please don’t question me about this, I’m still covered by my parents’ cause I’m still in school).  But I’m not sure about “down south” where I’d be living.  Could I use Medicaid?  Or, if I have a part time job doing MH stuff, then perhaps I could get it through my employer.  That is definitely something that I need to think about before moving off to my own little village.  Perhaps I should just move to southern Italy, Spain or Greece.  My guess is that they would have national healthcare.  Or perhaps by the time I’m ready to move down there (2010, 2011?)  President Obama will have some new awesome health plan.  My mom has just made me very aware of the fact that I can not let my health insurance lapse, because then people will refuse to cover me because of a “pre-existing condition”.  Which is bull crap!

So I need to think of that before I move.  Perhaps in my little village, I could have a doctor and a pharmecutical drug rep.  The rep could get me free drugs (the good kind), and the doctor could take care of my health.  It’s all about bartering, people.  Alissa proposed that she wanted to live in my village (and be the one with the real job), which is awesome.  But, I ask, what do you have to offer?

On a totally different note, I want a bowl of cereal.  I had dinner an hour ago (at 7:30), and I have been hungry ever since.  I had a serving of a Trader Joe’s vegetable lasagna, half a piece of Texas Toast, and a garden salad.  It wasn’t enough, especially cause the seving of lasagna was only 260 calories.   But, the good news is, that I now have tons of room for cereal!!!  I crave cereal every single night, and sometimes I have room for it, and other times not.  But when I get a craving, I can’t stop thinking about having a bowl of cereal until I actually eat it.  It’s weird.  Then, I’m done eating the serving, and I think “Oh no!  I want more!”  But I’m usually very comfortable on the couch, and can’t convince myself to get up and ger more (plus, I know my stomach can’t really handle it).

**Update, I ate a nice bowl of cereal at 9:30.  It was delicious.  I can’t wait to have another bowl tomorrow morning.  Yuuuuum.**

I was cleaning my room this morning (I am on a roll with the cleaning!) when I heard the familiar “ping”  of a message via GMail Chat.  I was surprised to see it was Megan, asking me if I was watching the Inauguration.  I had a plan to clean my room, go to the gym, have lunch around 1ish, and then go run errands to prep for dinner.  But instead, I went downstairs, watched the Inauguration of Barack Obama with Megan (via GChat), and ate lunch first, before the gym.  Then, I ran my errands, came home and prepped dinner (let the salmon sit in its sauce, and prepared the root vegetables so they’d be ready to be put in the oven when I returned), and then went to the gym.  As promised, I walked to the gym.  I was nervous that I wasn’t going to have enough time, but I cut my workout at the gym short to make up for the time spent walking.  Tomorrow, I have to babysit at noon, library meeting at 5:30, and then dinner at 7.  Because I don’t know what time I will get done babysitting, I’m going to the gym first.

I always try to count backwards when figuring out timing for things.  I need to leave the house by 11:30 (which will probably turn into 11:38, knowing me), so then I should be home and in the shower by 10:30, so I need to eat breakfast around 10 (takes me about 10 minutes to prepare my eggs and cereal), so to be at the gym for 45 minutes, plus a half hour for walking, I need to leave my house for the gym at…..  8:45.  I don’t like not eating breakfast first thing in the morning, but I figure I’ll eat an apple and/or an orange for energy before I leave.  That should be good enough.`

I read somewhere today that it isn’t good to chug water.  I guess our bodies aren’t equipt to handle all that water at once.  It doesn’t do anything bad, but the body can’t absorb it all for hydration needs.  That makes sense.  I also read that if you’re properly hydrated (not only should your pee be clear), but you should pee once every night.  I used to be able to wake up in the middle of the night, take my pill, and go right back to sleep.  Now, however, I try to do that, and all I can think is “Oh man, I have to pee.”  Which sucks, cause I really don’t want to get out of bed.  But of course, I can’t fall back to sleep, cause I have to pee so badly.  So I end up having to get out of bed anyway.  I should just get up right away without torturing myself by trying to convince my head that I don’t have to pee that badly.  When really I do.

I could use some book recommendations.  I started to read The Host, and it sucked.  I got to about page 15, and I’m pretty sure I’m giving up.  I think I read somewhere that you should at least give it to page 50 or 100 (I can’t remember which), but I don’t think I want to give it that much of a chance.  And so, I need more books to read.  My mom brought me home Snoop:  What Your Stuff Says About You, which I started and it’s interesting.  It looks at things like:  in a person’s office, are their photos facing them (which says “Aw, I like looking at my family, they’re great), or are they facing the visitors (which says, “Look at how great my family is.  I have this hot spouse, and adorable kids).  I’m only on page 20 or so, I fell asleep reading it on the couch (cause I was reclined, and my eyes were just so tired).  But I’ll pick it back up tomorrow.

I found an article, The Art of Living in Small Spaces, which had good tips about living in a mini house.  I’ve also found it interesting that in all of my “daydreams” of this little house, I’m by myself, doing my own thing.  I don’t have a husband/spouse/partner/boyfriend or anything.  Maybe if I do get a boyfriend, I’ll make him live in his own mini house.  There will be plenty of room, because I started a mini house community.  We will all barter with each other.  Some of us will grow lots of fruits and vegetables, and others will have real jobs and work outside the house.  The real worker will buy things like milk and pasta, and we will trade our vegetables and eggs with him for his purchased goods.  I could barter therapy with him, but there are strict rules for that.  Each person must agree upon the terms, and it’s better to trade services (I think).  Because if he loses his job, and can’t provide me with 15 pounds of pasta, and 15 pounds of flour, then should I just stop giving him therapy?  It would be better if it was a service, like…. he would mow the lawn every week or something.  One hour of lawn mowing for one hour of therapy.

I would prefer goods.  I can mow my own friggen lawn.  Maybe there could be a clause “In the event that pasta and flour can not be provided, ____ will be substituted.”  That way, I get what I want if at all possible, but there’s a “just in case” clause.

Emiliano will be very happy that I have been using Stumble Upon lately. While stumbling this morning, I found this quote:

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

~ Ellen Goodman

This is the exact reason why I want to move into my mini house, and NOT work.  Why do people work?  It’s stupid.  Think about it.  I don’t even need to mention any reasons, just read the quote.

I have been thinking more and more about the idea of me living a very minimalist life, and the thought makes me very, very happy.  I like imagining what it would be like, to live alone, to not have any worries, and to be able to wake up with the sun and work outside, and work, but work to live.  I don’t want to work for money: I want to work to eat, work to be healthy, and work to be happy.

Be happy.

I have not been happy lately.  There is nothing in my life that I am happy about.  That makes me very sad.  That is, in a word, depressing.  Megan said that I need to think about what things in this world make me happy.  Lately, all I enjoy doing is stumbling the internet, watching TV shows on my laptop, and reading books. I just started a new book called Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  My mother just finished it for bookclub, and she thought I would really enjoy it.  Gilbert goes through a terrible divorce, and she decides to move away for a year.  She lives in Italy and just hangs out and eats.  She makes friends, learns Italian, and she eats!  She’s a writer, that’s how she affords living without working for a whole year.  While in Italy, she writes about the difference between Americans working, and Italians working.

“Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today. . . Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure).  Americans don’t really know how to do nothing.  This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype - the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax.” (Gilbert, 61)

I don’t want to live like that.  I don’t want to live my life working everyday at a job that I don’t enjoy.  My sister works a 9-5 doing some sort of work for a large insurance company.  During her free time, she cooks delicious vegetarian meals for her and her husband, volunteers at a non-profit little art kitchen place called the Art House, and does environmental work.  She doesn’t get anything out of her job except money.  That can be said for a lot of people.  I don’t want to live like that.  I know Megan doesn’t want to live like that, either.

My latest TV show that I’ve been watching at the gym is Private Practice.  Adison Montgomery moves away from Greys Anatomy to LA.  She moves and starts working in this really cool private group practice; they call it a  medical co-op.  It has a very spa-ish, relaxing, dark colors, waterfall type feel.  There’s a beautiful lounge, a kitchen,  and a meeting room where they meet every morning to talk about their patients.  In the practice, there is a Ob/Gyn, a general practitioner, a holistic healer who does acupuncture, a therapist, and a doctor who specializes in helping women get pregnant.  All of the doctors are TV perfect (well, they’re all a little messed up - but good looking!), they’re all early 30s, and are pretty much friends.  They have fun together.  I would like to work in a place like that.  I want to work with people that I enjoy, I would like to work in a group practice like that.

Be happy.

Ok, so I will make a list of things that (will) make me happy.

• Reading
• Watching TV and movies
• Cooking and baking
• Gardening - growing flowers and my own food
• Going to farmer’s markets
• Riding a bicycle everywhere and not needing a car
• Having and caring for my own chickens (fresh eggs!)
• Baking fresh bread
• Working in a group practice, and enjoying it
• Knitting
• Exercising
• Being warm, and spending time out in the sun
• Hanging out with friends and family
• Blogging - both reading and writing
• Sleeping, and waking up early to make a wonderful breakfast

I was driving around today thinking how much I would love living in a little house, and then I remembered that I won’t be completely done with my degree until May 2010, and then I got sad again.  I guess all I can do is think about this crazy dream.  Maybe I will write a story about myself living in this house, and I will live vicariously through my writing.  I will also try to de-clutter my life, and do my best at saving money so I will be able to afford this house.

I feel that if I move down south into a little house, my parents will tell their friends “Well, she got cancer at 23, and then she went a little crazy.”

And it would be true.